Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
