just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
