i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
