When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Randomize
