Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize