Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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