So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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