My liver just broke up with me...
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Randomize
