My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
