i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
