i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
