Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I deserve this hangover.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
