If i come over, it means nothing
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
