im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
