I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Vodka?
Forever.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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