She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
