Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
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