so explain again why im purple
no
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
