Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
