my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Randomize
