How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
