I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize