I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
