I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
