Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
