One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
