HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
