he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
