This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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