How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
