Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
