Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
