You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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