Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
