Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
