My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Couch. On fire.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
