i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Enjoy the penises
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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