I wish you could order shots online.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
