if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just found a bag of teeth...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
