Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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