Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
