Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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