me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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