She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
