Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
