If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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