covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
