So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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