if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
