Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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